❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
[ There's something like a chill that settles over him, but it's not quite that. It rattles him, but it's not... fear. It's the creeping sensation that she knows now. That she remembers. Or claims to. But she sounds as if she's describing a moment he remembers well, because it was a decision he made based on - what? Emotion? Because he thought he could still control her, because he thought that her depth of feeling for him matched his feeling for her and that that would keep them safe, locked together?
A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
❰ she snorts, just a little, an undignified laugh that she hides behind her palm. ❱
That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
[ Alacruun breathes out in a low huff and settles onto his bed with a roll of a shoulder. How does he explain this to her? Did he really assume the worst of him?
Of course, it's entirely fair to assume the worst of him, but he doesn't think so. He thinks of himself as being entirely ready and prepared. ]
Adalia.
[ He settles his chin in his hand and meets her gaze, eyes flashing for a moment. ]
If I wanted someone to love me or make someone do what I wanted, I had magic. Spells. Powers that could bend minds to my will. I could make someone think they wanted to stay with me. But.
[ He makes a low noise at the back of his throat. This is going to sound bad, isn't it? But he's already started. ]
I don't want to make you. I want you to stay with me because you want to. What's the use of holding onto a leash? It doesn't win me anything. It doesn't... help. And despite what you think, I care about you. I want the best for you.
[ He pauses and then continues again. ]
That's all. So I'll let you make your choice. [ His lips twitch in something that approaches a grimace. ]
Even if I hope you choose one way. I want you... happy.
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no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 01:24 am (UTC)❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 03:56 am (UTC)A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
I do.
[ He keeps his voice level and calm as he can. ]
We had a conversation.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-24 04:12 am (UTC)That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-26 11:38 pm (UTC)Of course, it's entirely fair to assume the worst of him, but he doesn't think so. He thinks of himself as being entirely ready and prepared. ]
Adalia.
[ He settles his chin in his hand and meets her gaze, eyes flashing for a moment. ]
If I wanted someone to love me or make someone do what I wanted, I had magic. Spells. Powers that could bend minds to my will. I could make someone think they wanted to stay with me. But.
[ He makes a low noise at the back of his throat. This is going to sound bad, isn't it? But he's already started. ]
I don't want to make you. I want you to stay with me because you want to. What's the use of holding onto a leash? It doesn't win me anything. It doesn't... help. And despite what you think, I care about you. I want the best for you.
[ He pauses and then continues again. ]
That's all. So I'll let you make your choice. [ His lips twitch in something that approaches a grimace. ]
Even if I hope you choose one way. I want you... happy.