Of course we're not, but you called me your pet so she assumed! I just had to endure a sex talk where I was encouraged to masturbate I have never been so humiliated in my life and it's all your fault!
You will speak to me when I damn well want you to, you overgrown lizard!
❰ and to the room she is going to make her way, huffing and puffing and with no actual endgame in mind except to get where he is and do violence to his person. ❱
What, when you're prepared to think the worst of me at every moment? How could that help anyone?
[ Not that it much matters. He's there, settled in his bed and book propped against his chest. He looks like he's waiting for her, a sense of exasperation hovering around her. ]
❰ the past few days have been very stressful. phylacteries, beleth's accident, nearly losing gwenaëlle's friendship... adalia's been dealing with a lot, and she can't do anything about nearly any of it — at least, she can't do anything she wants to do about it. so getting drunk seemed like the best thing to do, considering everything, and that's just what she's done. it took a while, with her natural tolerance so high, but now she's well on her way to utterly smashed, and there's only one place she wants to be at the moment:
draped in alacruun's lap.
she flops down onto him, not bothering to wait until he's actually prepared for her to do so, grinning brightly up at him. ❱
The world is a nightmare and we're all going to be enslaved, ❰ she singsongs excitedly. ❱
[ He's reading again, because of course he is. All he does is read these days - or at least when he's in his room. It reminds him a little of his very, very distant younger days when he was poring through mortal libraries on a lark. He has to learn the history and customs of an entirely new world and a part of him lives for this challenge. It's like... it's something that he hasn't felt in a good, long while. Satisfaction from working with his head and being able to simply absorb information again.
So he's a bit surpised when Adalia interrupts his groove, although he can't really complain. He lifts the book out of the way, brow furrowed in bemusement. ]
You sound entirely too pleased about. At home you would've been yelling at me for the exact same thing.
[ He cocks his head slightly to one side. A somewhat birdish (or draconic, really) gesture that he's maintained in his body language. ]
Besides, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. [ Aside from letting him live with her, anyway. ]
That's because if I'm not happy I'll cry and never stop!
❰ again, adalia sounds far too excited for what she's saying. ❱
They're going to make phylacteries for us and we won't be able to go anywhere without them being able to find us, and they can cast all sorts of spells on us if we do anything they don't like, and we're all doomed and we're never going to go back to Toril.
❰ the tone steadily declines into something less than pleased, and adalia's quiet for a moment before she draws in a great shuddering breath and burrows her face into alacruun's chest. ❱
[ Alacruun sighs. He's... not entirely opposed to having Adalia trying to snuggle her way into his lap, but he's also not really used to handing out physical affection. He also suspects that when she sobers up she'll want to ignore this ever happened.
With a touch of reluctance he settles a hand on her head and gives her a slightly awkward pat. ]
Dear heart, they haven't made a choice yet. We still have time.
❰ dear heart, oh, adalia's heart gives a weird little flutter and she nuzzles her head up into alacruun's hand, eyes slipping closed in something like peace. ❱
We're thirty-some people against a whole world, what are we going to do?
❰ which sounds... about as peaceful as it can, considering how depressing that idea is. it's not really that adalia necessarily believes anything she's saying, but it's the most depressing version of what she's thinking, and she's drunk, so what is a filter, what is optimism. ❱
❰ adalia huffs a laugh, though it's... somewhat lacking in true humour. sounds like a rather familiar tactic, doesn't it? she blinks up at alacruun, eyes wide, stomach roiling. ❱
I don't think they'll ever really trust us. And that's... awfully cruel, to do to a people who need our help.
❰ maybe, possibly, adalia is projecting a little now. it's all too familiar a plan, when she's laying here in alacruun's lap, staring up at him, knowing what he says their future is — yes, it's very familiar. taking advantage of closeness, of weakness, and using it to destroy your enemy from the inside out... it's so brutal.
she shifts herself up, urgent, reaching for the front of alacruun's top and pulling him closer. ❱
Isn't there something else we could do? I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like hurting people.
[ Despite the size difference, he leans a little into her tug and allows her to manhandle him. Just a little. She's worried about hurting people again. It's something that frustrates him a little - she's so concerned about others, even when it might cost her everything.
Which is how they ended up in this situation, funnily enough. Not that he's keeping track. His eyes take her in and they are... not quite distant, but there's a coldness to them. Something a touch detached and off, just how it's always been. And despite all of that, there is a genuine fondness when he looks at her. It's almost an oxymoron. ]
If they wanted our help, they wouldn't threaten to chain and harm us, would they?
[ He's just being logical. ]
The alternative is to persuade them it's a terrible idea. But we have no confidence of success.
❰ adalia has spent quite a bit of time conveniently being everywhere but the room she shares with alacruun, these days. at first it wasn't even on purpose, but when she actually stopped to consider that she should discuss the dream she'd had with him — nope. it was... too big an undertaking to be considered, not when justinian had been so busy and solace was shaping up to be the same. it was a talk that would require careful thought and consideration, weighing of pros and cons. better, then, to avoid having to think of those things, and to avoid alacruun altogether.
except he's always kind in ways she never expects, and there's a book of alchemical recipes on her desk one day, and adalia is so shocked by the gesture that she doesn't pretend to be asleep by the time alacruun returns to the room for the evening. she looks up at him from where she's sat on her bed, book in her lap, and gives a small, bashful, rueful smile. ❱
I had a dream a while ago. Can I tell you about it?
[ Alacruun has never considered himself kind or given to sentimentality. Most of the time his behavior is driven by self-interest. If it helps other people, that's fine, as long as it moves him toward his own goals. Here it's been self-preservation. It's in his interests to cooperate with the Inquisition (to a certain point). Adalia has been a point of change for him in that regard. It had started out as a means to an end and been something (someone) to distract himself with.
Then he'd managed to find that he was fond of her, beyond just the usual disinterested sort of attention he'd given to most of his followers. She'd appealed to him in a ways he was never able to quite put to words. Then they'd ended up here and since then he's been kept at arm's length and, at the same time, paradoxically pulled in closer. It's left him confused and frustrated and at his wit's end, especially after their last argument.
But he's made an effort, because it makes her happy and if it makes her happy, it makes him happy. Here there isn't the driving need for him to want to shatter his bonds and find his way to the top of the divine food chain. Here, he wants to survive. World domination is a distant, distant, almost non-existent objective. Still, he's often been confused by what he feels is a hot-and-cold sort of back and forth between them. So he's not entirely surprised when she speaks up.
He also notices the book he found for her. Good. ]
Did you? I hope it was an interesting dream at least.
Oh, I think it's very interesting. Enlightening, you could say — and... well, depending on what kind of falling...
❰ she's getting ahead of herself. although there really isn't an ahead to get, seeing as adalia decided to come clean about the same time she opened her mouth, so she has no idea how she wants to explain any of this. for a moment she's silent, considering, head tilted to the side as she fidgets with the hem of her dress and thinks. ❱
I dreamt of Toril. And it wasn't — I mean, it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like I was living it. Months and months, all packed into one little dream...
[ He's sorting through some of his notes on his desk, paying attention to her and it takes him a moment to realize what she's talking about. And when he does, he straightens, as if he's received an electric shock and turns his head to look at her.
It's one of the very few times he's been rendered a bit speechless. ]
Ah.
I see.
[ There's a sliver of... what? Hope? He's not given to those sorts of thoughts, but it worms its way in there, all the same. He's never wanted someone else's approval or affection before, not like he does with her and he's not sure he likes it. But he does. He wants it, all the same. So what does this mean for that?
For him? For everything he wants to accomplish? ]
Do you have... thoughts on the matter?
[ He's careful, feeling his way forward. The space between them in the room feels both incredibly claustrophobic and too far apart, all at once. A bit like he's back in the space of his prison, bounded by nothing but an eternity on all sides and left to his own thoughts. ]
❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
[ There's something like a chill that settles over him, but it's not quite that. It rattles him, but it's not... fear. It's the creeping sensation that she knows now. That she remembers. Or claims to. But she sounds as if she's describing a moment he remembers well, because it was a decision he made based on - what? Emotion? Because he thought he could still control her, because he thought that her depth of feeling for him matched his feeling for her and that that would keep them safe, locked together?
A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
❰ she snorts, just a little, an undignified laugh that she hides behind her palm. ❱
That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
[ Of all the times for her to say something like this, it has to be from hundreds and hundreds of miles away, over a sending crystal, while she's being pursued.
He hates it.
Thanks. ]
Adalia.
[ He has a lot of conflicting emotions at the moment. ]
If you end up getting yourself killed, I'm going to be very upset-
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crystal.
Date: 2018-04-30 06:19 am (UTC)You made my friend think we're fucking!
Re: crystal.
Date: 2018-04-30 06:58 am (UTC)[ Wait, why is this his fault. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-04-30 07:02 am (UTC)Where are you!
no subject
Date: 2018-04-30 07:09 am (UTC)[ There is a distinct frown in Alacruun's voice. ]
Why didn't you just tell her ypu didn't want to discuss it?
[ He supposes he'll be the villain again. ]
I'm in my room. Reading. Or I was reading, anyway.
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Date: 2018-04-30 07:12 am (UTC)Your room, excuse me! That is our room! I invited you to share with me.
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Date: 2018-04-30 07:17 am (UTC)[ She probably should, but he's still going to fight back. ]
I'll speak to you when you're not feeling like accusing me of something over a single word.
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Date: 2018-04-30 07:24 am (UTC)❰ and to the room she is going to make her way, huffing and puffing and with no actual endgame in mind except to get where he is and do violence to his person. ❱
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Date: 2018-04-30 07:27 am (UTC)[ Not that it much matters. He's there, settled in his bed and book propped against his chest. He looks like he's waiting for her, a sense of exasperation hovering around her. ]
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From:action.
Date: 2018-05-13 02:21 am (UTC)draped in alacruun's lap.
she flops down onto him, not bothering to wait until he's actually prepared for her to do so, grinning brightly up at him. ❱
The world is a nightmare and we're all going to be enslaved, ❰ she singsongs excitedly. ❱
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 03:25 am (UTC)So he's a bit surpised when Adalia interrupts his groove, although he can't really complain. He lifts the book out of the way, brow furrowed in bemusement. ]
You sound entirely too pleased about. At home you would've been yelling at me for the exact same thing.
[ He cocks his head slightly to one side. A somewhat birdish (or draconic, really) gesture that he's maintained in his body language. ]
Besides, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. [ Aside from letting him live with her, anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 03:42 am (UTC)❰ again, adalia sounds far too excited for what she's saying. ❱
They're going to make phylacteries for us and we won't be able to go anywhere without them being able to find us, and they can cast all sorts of spells on us if we do anything they don't like, and we're all doomed and we're never going to go back to Toril.
❰ the tone steadily declines into something less than pleased, and adalia's quiet for a moment before she draws in a great shuddering breath and burrows her face into alacruun's chest. ❱
'm drunk.
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 04:26 am (UTC)[ Alacruun sighs. He's... not entirely opposed to having Adalia trying to snuggle her way into his lap, but he's also not really used to handing out physical affection. He also suspects that when she sobers up she'll want to ignore this ever happened.
With a touch of reluctance he settles a hand on her head and gives her a slightly awkward pat. ]
Dear heart, they haven't made a choice yet. We still have time.
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 04:49 am (UTC)We're thirty-some people against a whole world, what are we going to do?
❰ which sounds... about as peaceful as it can, considering how depressing that idea is. it's not really that adalia necessarily believes anything she's saying, but it's the most depressing version of what she's thinking, and she's drunk, so what is a filter, what is optimism. ❱
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 04:59 am (UTC)[ He sounds incredibly self-assured about the whole thing. ]
Or wait. Ingratiate ourselves. Worm our way into the heart of their Inquisition. Make them rely on us. Make them trust us entirely.
[ His hand pauses and then he slides it from her head, settles it on her shoulder. ]
And then we tear out their beating heart.
[ His voice has fallen low, almost a whisper. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 05:21 am (UTC)I don't think they'll ever really trust us. And that's... awfully cruel, to do to a people who need our help.
❰ maybe, possibly, adalia is projecting a little now. it's all too familiar a plan, when she's laying here in alacruun's lap, staring up at him, knowing what he says their future is — yes, it's very familiar. taking advantage of closeness, of weakness, and using it to destroy your enemy from the inside out... it's so brutal.
she shifts herself up, urgent, reaching for the front of alacruun's top and pulling him closer. ❱
Isn't there something else we could do? I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like hurting people.
no subject
Date: 2018-05-13 05:27 am (UTC)Which is how they ended up in this situation, funnily enough. Not that he's keeping track. His eyes take her in and they are... not quite distant, but there's a coldness to them. Something a touch detached and off, just how it's always been. And despite all of that, there is a genuine fondness when he looks at her. It's almost an oxymoron. ]
If they wanted our help, they wouldn't threaten to chain and harm us, would they?
[ He's just being logical. ]
The alternative is to persuade them it's a terrible idea. But we have no confidence of success.
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From:before the trip to skyhold; action.
Date: 2018-07-09 02:17 pm (UTC)except he's always kind in ways she never expects, and there's a book of alchemical recipes on her desk one day, and adalia is so shocked by the gesture that she doesn't pretend to be asleep by the time alacruun returns to the room for the evening. she looks up at him from where she's sat on her bed, book in her lap, and gives a small, bashful, rueful smile. ❱
I had a dream a while ago. Can I tell you about it?
no subject
Date: 2018-07-09 04:32 pm (UTC)Then he'd managed to find that he was fond of her, beyond just the usual disinterested sort of attention he'd given to most of his followers. She'd appealed to him in a ways he was never able to quite put to words. Then they'd ended up here and since then he's been kept at arm's length and, at the same time, paradoxically pulled in closer. It's left him confused and frustrated and at his wit's end, especially after their last argument.
But he's made an effort, because it makes her happy and if it makes her happy, it makes him happy. Here there isn't the driving need for him to want to shatter his bonds and find his way to the top of the divine food chain. Here, he wants to survive. World domination is a distant, distant, almost non-existent objective. Still, he's often been confused by what he feels is a hot-and-cold sort of back and forth between them. So he's not entirely surprised when she speaks up.
He also notices the book he found for her. Good. ]
Did you? I hope it was an interesting dream at least.
[ He settles on his bed with a shrug. ]
It wasn't one of those falling dreams, was it?
no subject
Date: 2018-07-10 05:43 pm (UTC)❰ she's getting ahead of herself. although there really isn't an ahead to get, seeing as adalia decided to come clean about the same time she opened her mouth, so she has no idea how she wants to explain any of this. for a moment she's silent, considering, head tilted to the side as she fidgets with the hem of her dress and thinks. ❱
I dreamt of Toril. And it wasn't — I mean, it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like I was living it. Months and months, all packed into one little dream...
I know what you were talking about, now.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-10 10:36 pm (UTC)It's one of the very few times he's been rendered a bit speechless. ]
Ah.
I see.
[ There's a sliver of... what? Hope? He's not given to those sorts of thoughts, but it worms its way in there, all the same. He's never wanted someone else's approval or affection before, not like he does with her and he's not sure he likes it. But he does. He wants it, all the same. So what does this mean for that?
For him? For everything he wants to accomplish? ]
Do you have... thoughts on the matter?
[ He's careful, feeling his way forward. The space between them in the room feels both incredibly claustrophobic and too far apart, all at once. A bit like he's back in the space of his prison, bounded by nothing but an eternity on all sides and left to his own thoughts. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 01:24 am (UTC)❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 03:56 am (UTC)A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
I do.
[ He keeps his voice level and calm as he can. ]
We had a conversation.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-24 04:12 am (UTC)That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
(no subject)
From:briefly, crystal.
Date: 2018-08-10 08:38 am (UTC)I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get my shit together — I'm sorry it has to be now, when I'm hundreds of miles away. I do love you, you know.
❰ sounds of panted breath, the footsteps slow and many more sound like they're coming closer, and a worried dragon keens. ❱
I'll see you soon, sia kornari.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-23 08:11 pm (UTC)He hates it.
Thanks. ]
Adalia.
[ He has a lot of conflicting emotions at the moment. ]
If you end up getting yourself killed, I'm going to be very upset-