Oh, I think it's very interesting. Enlightening, you could say — and... well, depending on what kind of falling...
❰ she's getting ahead of herself. although there really isn't an ahead to get, seeing as adalia decided to come clean about the same time she opened her mouth, so she has no idea how she wants to explain any of this. for a moment she's silent, considering, head tilted to the side as she fidgets with the hem of her dress and thinks. ❱
I dreamt of Toril. And it wasn't — I mean, it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like I was living it. Months and months, all packed into one little dream...
[ He's sorting through some of his notes on his desk, paying attention to her and it takes him a moment to realize what she's talking about. And when he does, he straightens, as if he's received an electric shock and turns his head to look at her.
It's one of the very few times he's been rendered a bit speechless. ]
Ah.
I see.
[ There's a sliver of... what? Hope? He's not given to those sorts of thoughts, but it worms its way in there, all the same. He's never wanted someone else's approval or affection before, not like he does with her and he's not sure he likes it. But he does. He wants it, all the same. So what does this mean for that?
For him? For everything he wants to accomplish? ]
Do you have... thoughts on the matter?
[ He's careful, feeling his way forward. The space between them in the room feels both incredibly claustrophobic and too far apart, all at once. A bit like he's back in the space of his prison, bounded by nothing but an eternity on all sides and left to his own thoughts. ]
❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
[ There's something like a chill that settles over him, but it's not quite that. It rattles him, but it's not... fear. It's the creeping sensation that she knows now. That she remembers. Or claims to. But she sounds as if she's describing a moment he remembers well, because it was a decision he made based on - what? Emotion? Because he thought he could still control her, because he thought that her depth of feeling for him matched his feeling for her and that that would keep them safe, locked together?
A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
❰ she snorts, just a little, an undignified laugh that she hides behind her palm. ❱
That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
[ Alacruun breathes out in a low huff and settles onto his bed with a roll of a shoulder. How does he explain this to her? Did he really assume the worst of him?
Of course, it's entirely fair to assume the worst of him, but he doesn't think so. He thinks of himself as being entirely ready and prepared. ]
Adalia.
[ He settles his chin in his hand and meets her gaze, eyes flashing for a moment. ]
If I wanted someone to love me or make someone do what I wanted, I had magic. Spells. Powers that could bend minds to my will. I could make someone think they wanted to stay with me. But.
[ He makes a low noise at the back of his throat. This is going to sound bad, isn't it? But he's already started. ]
I don't want to make you. I want you to stay with me because you want to. What's the use of holding onto a leash? It doesn't win me anything. It doesn't... help. And despite what you think, I care about you. I want the best for you.
[ He pauses and then continues again. ]
That's all. So I'll let you make your choice. [ His lips twitch in something that approaches a grimace. ]
Even if I hope you choose one way. I want you... happy.
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no subject
Date: 2018-07-10 05:43 pm (UTC)❰ she's getting ahead of herself. although there really isn't an ahead to get, seeing as adalia decided to come clean about the same time she opened her mouth, so she has no idea how she wants to explain any of this. for a moment she's silent, considering, head tilted to the side as she fidgets with the hem of her dress and thinks. ❱
I dreamt of Toril. And it wasn't — I mean, it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like I was living it. Months and months, all packed into one little dream...
I know what you were talking about, now.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-10 10:36 pm (UTC)It's one of the very few times he's been rendered a bit speechless. ]
Ah.
I see.
[ There's a sliver of... what? Hope? He's not given to those sorts of thoughts, but it worms its way in there, all the same. He's never wanted someone else's approval or affection before, not like he does with her and he's not sure he likes it. But he does. He wants it, all the same. So what does this mean for that?
For him? For everything he wants to accomplish? ]
Do you have... thoughts on the matter?
[ He's careful, feeling his way forward. The space between them in the room feels both incredibly claustrophobic and too far apart, all at once. A bit like he's back in the space of his prison, bounded by nothing but an eternity on all sides and left to his own thoughts. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 01:24 am (UTC)❰ it's... weird. looking at him and feeling affection that she didn't before. she'd appreciated his affection for her for months now, had liked that whatever she thought of him he seemed to think she'd hung the moon, or something. but she hadn't felt much for him herself, certainly nothing approaching the love that he's professed to feel for her. even having dreamt of everything, she might not have given much credence to it, or worried too much about what she felt in the future, or might have felt, or... the rifts make things complicated, and she might have been able to ignore it.
but he freed her. the one thing she never thought he would do, and he did it. ❱
Do you remember being in Neverwinter? I was upset, and I left the rest of you downstairs, but you followed me. Do you remember that day?
no subject
Date: 2018-07-11 03:56 am (UTC)A thousand thoughts and for once he hasn't the time to organize them. ]
I do.
[ He keeps his voice level and calm as he can. ]
We had a conversation.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-24 04:12 am (UTC)That's an understatement.
❰ gods, how does she want to go about this, what does she want to say... something, clearly, she started the conversation, she can't just start it and say all that and then leave it there. but being direct seems too... direct.
this is stupidly difficult, for something that should be as simple as stringing words together. ❱
I didn't know you could do that, ❰ adalia says slowly, as though discovering each words as she says it. ❱ I didn't know you'd want to. Free me.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-26 11:38 pm (UTC)Of course, it's entirely fair to assume the worst of him, but he doesn't think so. He thinks of himself as being entirely ready and prepared. ]
Adalia.
[ He settles his chin in his hand and meets her gaze, eyes flashing for a moment. ]
If I wanted someone to love me or make someone do what I wanted, I had magic. Spells. Powers that could bend minds to my will. I could make someone think they wanted to stay with me. But.
[ He makes a low noise at the back of his throat. This is going to sound bad, isn't it? But he's already started. ]
I don't want to make you. I want you to stay with me because you want to. What's the use of holding onto a leash? It doesn't win me anything. It doesn't... help. And despite what you think, I care about you. I want the best for you.
[ He pauses and then continues again. ]
That's all. So I'll let you make your choice. [ His lips twitch in something that approaches a grimace. ]
Even if I hope you choose one way. I want you... happy.